Top Tip: Never take Urban Dictionary name definitions seriously.
After watching my wife go through the whole wrangler that is labour, I swiftly decided to sign over all naming rights to her. Who was I to demand what to name the watermelon she’d just pushed through her nether regions. An experience which manages to be both brutal and magical in equal measure.
It started just like any other labour free night. I’d set my alarm to arise for work the next morning. We settled down in bed to watch that nights recording of Love Island. It was during a conversation in which I’d vetoed two names from the final list of three when it happened.
First of all, I must put on record my massive respect for midwives and health visitors who work very hard to ensure the safety of our children’s health. I remember before Ayla’s first health visitor visits I’d change my outfit three times before they arrived in case they realised I was a schlub who was living in his pyjamas everyday at the time and deem me unfit.