Things I’ve Taught My Daughter

It’s always important to pass down our knowledge and experience to our children. Since the beginning of time generations have taught life skills to their offspring in order to best equip them the for the road ahead.


Here is a list of the early lessons, I’ve passed down to Ayla thus far:

  1. Wave out of the window to nobody in particular.
  2. Hit me, I’ll sell it like Hulk Hogan
  3. Slap the telly
  4. Say “Aww” and pat when receiving or giving kisses and cuddles. Never cool on the future dating scene.
  5. “Shhh” everyone in the room when you hear a police siren.
  6. Shout “Yeah boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” as long as you can.
  7. Thumbs up and better yet double thumbs up.
  8. Gurning.
  9. Respond to all animal noises repeating the noise back to them.
  10. Exaggerate facial expressions and close your eyes while singing.
  11. Show irrational disgust to creepy crawlies or mud when you’re not even scared.
  12. When lifted up beside a dangly, crystal ceiling, light fitting.…If you must grab them, please let go.
  13. The perfect length of time to dip your biscuit in your cuppa. Okay, it’s my cuppa and she still gets it wrong, quite a lot. Plop!
  14. Wheel away and celebrate wildly when kicking a ball between makeshift goalposts.
  15. Tell your family you love them everyday. Licking is optional.

We’d love to hear anything you’ve taught your little ones in the comments below.

8 thoughts on “Things I’ve Taught My Daughter”

  1. This made me launch. I thought it was going to be a super-serious list but love the humour. Worrying thing is, soonenough you’ll be writing a list about what you kids have taught you about using a computer!

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