It was my wife’s first night out and my first night alone with Ayla. Why was I so hesitant to turn the light off?
I’ve never been fond of the dark. I’m the type of guy who turns a light out and immediately thinks of the last horror movie I watched, sprinting full speed into bed.
Now first of all as kind of a disclaimer, I’m a manly man. A somewhat brave man. I would do anything to protect my family. At 32-years of age I’m finally developing facial hair. I have various ‘insurance policies’ around the house if needed during the night for intruders and monsters alike and no, not just Home Alone style boobie traps.
Having said that, on two occasions that I can recall, Rachel and I have heard an unexplained noise in the middle of the night and my instinct reaction on both occasions has been “What do you think we should do?” Closely followed by a redundant “Should I have a look?” as my wife has already shot out of bed and down the hall way. Thankfully it’s never been anything more than the wind clattering the back gate which I’ve generaly forgotten to bolt. I’m sure if there was any real danger my ninja skills would kick in and I would defend my domain.
Looking back at Rachel’s first night out after giving birth to Ayla. I was a tad nervous to be completely alone with the baby but not for the reasons you’d expect. I took Ayla up to bed with me. She was asleep in her ajoining cot.
The natural time to switch off the bedside lamp came and I hesitated. I was on my own in the house. Well, ‘alone’ as in the only adult. I half wanted Ayla to wake up so I could bring her in for a reassuring cuddle. ‘She’ll know what to do’, I thought. Every noise made me dart up to scan the room. Even Ayla’s snuffles had me imagining a deep breathing predator lurking at the doorway.
What’s the hardship in leaving the lamp on throughout the night? It wouldn’t be that costly on the electric bill. It’s only a lamp. It wasn’t bothering Ayla. What price do you put on your own peace of mind?
I must have managed to nod off, only to be rudely awoken with a fearful whimper as Rachel came into the room. Considering it was the first I heard of her in the household I guess my wife is a secret stealth even after a couple of glasses of Prosecco. I was quick to state, “Oh we must have fallen asleep with the light on!”
Even the first night out Rachel had after having Daniel I thought, for a split second, ‘Daniel Jr’s the man of the house now. He will protect me.’ Bizarre I know.
Thankfully, Ayla hasnt inherited my fear of the dark, regularly asking at bedtime “Turn the dark on.” Crazy child!
Essentially, we all have our security blankets. Mine just happens to be a grown man nightlight. Thankfully, in our home we don’t buy into the stereotype. I’m still the man of the house, just a slightly jumpy, more cautious version.