It’s not easy raising a family. The kids demand so much, and you have to make a great effort to ensure they’re always well-fed, ready for school, and enjoying life. It’s also always important to remember that our children learn more from us than just what we tell them: they look at how we interact with our partners, too. That’s where they learn all about love! But you shouldn’t just be loving to your partner just for your kid’s sake, of course. They’re the mother of your children, and deserve to be treated well just on their own merit! Below, we take a look at how you can ensure they feel special and valued. If they’re happy, then you’re happy, your kids are happy. It’s a win-win-win situation.
It’s amazing how much of our lives seem to run on autopilot, when we’re busy. We can spend all our time going through the motions, oblivious to the world around us. The problem is that your partner might be slightly more “checked in” than you are. You might be taking care of things automatically, but they’re focused and aware. And if you’re just accepting their efforts without showing much gratitude, then they might begin to feel undervalued. You know how much you appreciate all that they do: make sure they know it, too!
Take Care Of Yourself
It’s something of a cliche that once you settle down, you begin to take slightly less care of yourself. Whereas once you’d hit the gym, dress well, and all-around make yourself presentable, when you’ve been off the market for a while, then those things can become less of a concern. But think about it for a second: what are you saying to your partner if you don’t feel like it’s worth making yourself look presentable for their sake? While you don’t have to go to the gym multiple times a week, it’s hard to argue against brushing your hair, your teeth, and putting some effort into looking dapper. That you want to be at your best for their benefit will make them feel special.
When you have children, life can settle into a familiar pattern. But everyone, parent or not, knows that diversity is the key to a good life. It makes worth living! And of course, it helps to keep the romance alive in the relationship, too. So if you can organise a babysitter (hello, grandparents) for the evening, look at sharing a special night together. You can surprise your partner by taking them out to their favourite restaurant, or spending a night in a cute B&B somewhere out in the country, or even making a home-cooked meal. These are the magical moments in life that they’ll cherish!
Of course, your opportunities to spend a night alone together might be few and far between. But you can still make your partner feel special by surprising them with a gift. There are few things better than arriving home from work and being greeted by a present for no other reason than someone loves you. Take a look at gifts for her, and pick something that you know she’ll love. You don’t have to wait for her birthday or Christmas to roll around in order to get her a gift; she’ll be much more pleasantly surprised if it comes out of the blue.
Encourage Their Individuality
Your partner might be a ‘mum first,’ but they’re still an individual. That had a life and interests and hobbies before they became a parent, and though their top priority is being a mum, there still lies a rich life underneath the surface. Can you help to bring it to the surface? It might involve encouraging them to pick up their hobbies again by giving them space to practice in the home, or offering to look after the children while they go out to catch up with friends. Parents of both genders can often feel a little trapped by their status as a parent. This way, you’ll be bringing out the varied sides that your partner possesses.
Sometimes, parents just want to rest. But they can’t, because even if the kids have gone to sleep, there are a million and one household chores that need to be taken care of too. Enter you, super-partner! If you can tell that your loved one just wants to sit down and curl up with a book, offer to take care of the chores. Actually, don’t offer: insist that you’ll do them. They’ll know how lucky they are to have you in their life.
Everyone is a sea of thoughts, feelings, emotions, confusions, and everything else. And most people want to share them…but there never seems to be the right time. They’re not asked, and it’d be a bit random just to drop in some “deep stuff” into everyday conversation. You can show that you care for the essence of your loved one by going deeper. Switch off the television, and get to know them. There’s a great list of questions which was actually designed to make two people fall in love (really!), but can just be used by anyone and everyone, since they’re so good. Give them a read here and put some in the memory bank for next time you find yourself in conversation mode.
Bringing the Laughter
Parenting can be difficult. In fact, all of life can be difficult! The best remedy for beating the blues and stress away is laughter. So bring it! Your partner doesn’t want to have to look elsewhere to have a smile on their face. They want to face the chaos of the world knowing that home is the space where they can be happy and joyful. Try to keep things light, and bring the laughter and good times whenever you can. Of all the qualities a person can possess, being able to lift people up when times are tough might be the most valuable of all.
Read The Mood
Though, having said that, there will be times when you can’t boost their mood. They might just want some space to get lost in their head for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that! Learn how to read the mood. Be attentive to the times when they need a hug, and the times when they just want some space. You’ll be a cherished partner indeed!
A Day Out To Remember
Life is all about the memories we create. While those warm, fuzzy feelings will come from the early morning breakfasts in the kitchen, nights spent watching a film on the sofa, and so on, there’s also space for those days that are out of the ordinary. Plan a special day out for your loved one. It might involve taking them to a spa, or for a fancy lunch, or an adventure through nature. Whatever their interests are, really! They’ll love that you’ve put the thought into planning a day that was designed with only them in mind.
A Simple Thought
The beautiful thing about making someone else feel valued and special is that it doesn’t have to be complicated. If you’re thinking about their needs, then you’re halfway there! The next time you want to show your appreciation, simply think about the following question: “what can I do for them?” It’s a powerful tool for being less selfish, more selfless. They’ll always know how special they are if they have someone forever thinking about their needs!